I Smell Food

Sound track of the day:
Well, I don't mind stealin' bread
From the mouths of decadence -
But I can't feed on the powerless
When my cup's already over-filled....

Current Temperature: Too cold for the second week of Spring

Day One of Cleanse.

As an office slave, we find ways to commune with our fellow employees by engaging in such bonding activities as lunchtime manicures, happy hour, even bowling. Recently a handful of us decided it was time to try a new form of bonding.

A juice cleanse.

Three days, six juices a day, 10 women, 3 bathrooms.

Today I feel…hungry. But at work, things are so busy and my office is always abuzz with visitors and meeting attendees that I hardly have time to think about hunger.

Not until lunch when some cruel, cruel person orders ribs with BBQ sauce. At the smell of the sinful meal it takes all I have to resist searching for the location of the culprit and berate him or her. In doing so I would risk asking for a bite. Instead, I march directly to the other side of the building, straight into Constance’s office and complain. That’s all I can do, until I’ve complained myself off the ledge and go back to work. Other than that, the day without food wasn’t so bad.

Juice #1: Green and not gross. But almost. Imagine eating salad but you’ve just undergone jaw surgery. Romaine, celery, cucumber, apple, spinach, kale, parsley and lemon in liquid form. Makes a great salad, not so much a great juice. But I championed on in the name of good health and clean living.

Juice #2: Pineapple, apple and mint. The only thing missing from this gem of the collection is a double shot of Grey Goose. Delish.

Juice #3: Juice #1 was hard enough but repeating it after the delicious treat in juice #2 is just unfair. So in the name of self deprication, and tested souls the makers of this cleanse did just that.

Juice #4: Spicy lemonade. This drink is reminiscent of what you find in the Master Cleanse. Lemonade with a kick. Also very good, still also very liquid.

By 5 o’clock I’m still lightheaded from the juice, lack of solids, intense burst of vitamins, PMS, or a cocktail of the lot. I’m planning my night. I’ve decided that my remaining juices should be consumed at 7 and 9 pm. That gives me two hours before bed without juice, as directed, if I can make myself sleep by 11.

Do I go to yoga, using it as a way to fill my day so I can keep my mind off of food or lack of it until I can fall mercifully into slumber? Do I go shopping?

As is with any weekday in the life of Lynn, things don’t happen as planned. Work and its disasters kept me at the office well past any yoga class I was going to get into, so I made plans with Mel for a manicure. It’s still something to fill my time before bed, and to keep my mind and hands away from SeamlessWeb. Today I did not let my fingers do the walking.

After yoga, I took a walk home hoping to delay the impeding quiet that would fill my brain with thoughts of sushi, pho or banh mi. Thankfully at this time of night very few locations are delivering. However, on this day I made the mistake of taking MacDougal Street home.

MacDougal Street houses dozens of restaurants. Restaurants filled with happy eaters, named things like Macaroni, Macaroni and Mamoun’s Falafel. It was a minor form of involuntary self-torture. I will not be doing that again.

Juice #5: I quickly open juice #5 upon my arrival at home, utterly aware that I was behind my juice schedule. I naively had hoped I would have been starting juice #6 at 9pm. Drinking juice #5 quickly while catching up on an episode of Fringe kept my mind off the taste of yet another salad juice. It was painless.

Juice #6: The highly rated and raved final drink of the day. Boasted as the best tasting liquid rice pudding. I couldn’t wait sink my straw into it. It did not disappoint. After a full day of deprivation it is quite the reward.

Sleep came quickly but it was light. Nightmares of work and the fear of a middle of the night pee kept me just above the blanket of deep sleep.