The other sister and her friend Lenny

Sound track of the day:
This is the noise that keeps me awake
My head explodes and my body aches

Current Temperature: easier on the eyes



As evidence that the universe gets its kicks in amusing me and exercising my sense of humor, Vicki’s roommate and her new giant lover have decided to shack up.

Last night as I was blow drying my hair after a much needed shower, I hear Vicki chirping near the stair way. Preparing a warm hello I poke my head out the bathroom door and see her standing there with a scary smile on her face and a full glass of wine in hand, “We have to talk.”

Naturally, I rummage quickly around my mind to guess the situation. Did her roommate do something stupid? Did something bad happen at work? Did I forget to flush the toilet? I should have stopped at the first guess. Giant Lolita did do something stupid. She recruited Thor as a third roommate without even so much as a nudge toward Vicki. In fact, Vicki didn’t even hear directly from her. She received a call yesterday afternoon from a good friend who happens to be an acquaintance of GL, and was told the news. Vicki ended that call pronto in order to get the lowdown straight from the source. Needless to say, Vicki will be looking for another apartment.

As Vicki recounted the conversation to me I’m stunned. My mouth froze agape and I didn’t have the words. The only thing that manages to escape, and repeatedly, is “What an IDIOT!” She had known the behemoth for less than 24 hours when she made this decision. One very loud, and seemingly violent romp in the sack and they’re nesting? It’s just so bizarre. It’s like watching your prized cow run into the thrashing cone of a tornado and shouting for joy. My emotions of annoyance, giddy and anger eventually wound down to sheer astonishment and awe at one person’s ability to escape a depressed communist regime, become educated and even become a doctor and to then regress to that other version of herself; the one missing a chromosome. El Jefe Castro should be thankful to be rid of her.

The fact that I’m sitting here on a sunny Miami day attempting to describe the absurdity of the situation is ludicrous. How can I explain that she should consider the effect this will have on her living situation or the risk she is taking at offending her roommate, when any normal, functioning human being should not need to go through this thought process – at least not consciously. Does it need to be said? Don’t do it genius.

C-U next Tuesday.