Digging Through Archives

Sound track of the day:
Do you remember once upon a time
When there were open doors
An invitation to the world
We were falling in and out with lovers
Looking out for others
Our sisters and our brothers

Current Temperature: Rain threatened all day but the sun prevails

Culture clash: Still raining more than New York City June 2009





This morning, I decided to get to business. In bed (couch) last night I pepped talked myself into getting my act together.

Stop living in fear Lynn. Write the book, live your life. What happens will happen and even if bad shit goes down, at least you’ll have done it all.

So that’s my nightly and morning mantra. I can’t do more than sit my ass in front of the page every day and give what I have. If what I have is 700 Hemingway worthy words, or just a spattering of thoughts, at least I sat there and put it down. The other deal I’ve made with myself is to write forward not back. Not to dangle over participles and break myself over clauses. The words come and they’re not mine. So just put down what I’m told and walk away at the end of the day.

I toss and turn at night running scenes through my head, debating ways to express the psychedelic experiences of my heroine, replaying transitions from reality to fantasy and I toil and toil over her thoughts and her personality. She’s adventurous and fearless. She’s ten. So no, she doesn’t have worries. So, I need to remember when I was that girl. I walk in her shoes through my sleepless nights wishing I had asked Brian for some Ambien before I left the states.

But in the morning, I plop myself at the table with the blank page in front of me, and nothing. Instead, I tour Facebook, check my email, chat, play music, even do pushups on the table as I stare at the blank screen. Eventually I walk away, decide to go to the market, check out the gardens at Chateau Versaiiles, watch a movie or just wander. I do everything but put to the page everything I considered the night before. It’s a pattern I’ve successfully burned into the carpet over the past couple of weeks.

So today I did something different, not entirely fruitful but more productive.

I finally looked at the manuscript. I really looked it at and got to know my characters, my heroine, all over again. I remember things that I still think are good. And I’ve noted changes where, in my naïveté, I once thought those ideas were brilliant.

I’m still relearning but I’m getting reacquainted, and that’s a start.

On tonight’s menu:
Caramelized fennel and pancetta salad
Sliced Baguette
Beaufort and Ossau Iraty cheese
Pear Jam
Berries for dessert

Monoprix Chardonnay